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isamlq

isamlq

Nantucket Blue - Leila Howland 3.5/5This was sweet, sad then real. Early parts have her feeling like safe in her little nook. Happy, is what she was. While it’s not necessarily ripped out form under her, it sort of disappears. More importantly she’s at first oblivious then in denial then later clueless as to why. All they while, she’s trying to be understanding over their loss but having the most difficult time at it as she’s unable to separate their loss from hers… because that’s the way things have always been: no her, no them, but an us. ‘Till it isn’t anymore. So, she’s caught adrift, and you’re sad for her, but wanting her to open her eyes because boundaries? This girl saw none. And it’s in failing to see these that the lead read young for a girl turning eighteen, young, a bit desperate, and unaware of boundaries. And it’s failing to see these walls that much of her heartache springs.Discoveries of all sortsFriend gone, mother not there, father not really there either and all the while she’s caught in this in between time of kid but not kid. Feeling disappointment but being old enough to know that time’s up and the boat’s sailed… that it’s not her turn anymore because while she’s not ‘old’ old, then he’s older now. And you kind of hear her heart break, you know? All made even more complicated with discoveries of a version of a mother so different from the one she’d become familiar with (and even dislike). There’s this disappointment between them, from her for her mother especially. So that her being caught in the middle of kid and not kid anymore? It’s most strongly felt between them because it felt like the kid was doing the mothering and if not, it felt like it was the kid wanting to not get stuck and wanting (needing to) move on, what she thought was the grown up thing to do. It felt simply felt sad, especially when considering the predicament she’d find herself in later.Then there were other sorts of discoveries of just how strong she could be in finding her own way, seeing things for what they were… finally owning up to wrongs done, but before the last: feeling all these things that others were capable of letting her feel:A lot of these were sad ones, but some a sweet respite, particularly between her and a certain other. The connection made between them was familiar but not; because it’s builds on. And if at first, there was that odd and doesn’t feel right feeling going on in me, it’s a feeling that didn’t persist. Mainly because I found it truthful her learning more of that side her. There was truthfulness to how young they both read. The reluctant attraction, heart beating then suddenly racing and then throw in just a bit of that conflicted “I can’t/ we can’t” and well, see, I finished this in three hours. If that’s not sign enough of a good read, well, I have no idea what is.